Thursday, January 20, 2011

To IM or NOT to IM...?

A little note for all of the clueless fellas out there in internet datingland...

When deciding whether or not to email/IM me (or any girl for that matter) and/or what you're going to say, you might choose to ponder the following:

1. Read my profile!  I don't expect you to read all of the stupid little details about what my favorite bands are or the sixth thing I can't live without, but a general glance at the type of person I'm looking for couldn't hurt.  If you're a 40 year-old hippy with a kid who's in an "open relationship" let's use the old noggin and move on to the next profile, shall we?

2. Look at my pictures.  This is going to sound harsh but hear me out...  Let's say (on a scale of 1-10) that I'm a 7.  If you're a 2 or 3... Keep. It. Movin!  I'M not emailing 10's so let's stay in touch with reality, mmmkay?

3. If you've made it past #1 and #2, keep those thinking caps on!  Opening with a line like: "You are just all legs, aren't you?" is akin to honking/yelling out your window at me when I'm walking down the street and will engender a similar response...  I'll let you figure that one out fucko.  You don't have to think of something super witty or brilliant, just a "Hey I liked your profile" or "Wow, you like [insert band/TV show/movie here]?  Me too!" will do just fine.

4. Please please PLEASE read this next one veeeeery carefully.  Save any talk about sex until the appropriate time.  This does not mean over IM, email, or on the first date (you know who you are!).  I don't want to hear about your fetishes, how your penis is so big that you can't find a girl that can "handle" you, or about how great you think we'll be in bed together.  Keep it clean boys!  A little romance/chivalry goes a long way.

5. This last one may not apply to every girl, so think of is as a slightly softer guideline, although it's true for me...  Take a look at our details.  Now, if I'm 5'11" and you're 5'5", or if I have a Ph.D. and you have your A.A. degree, or let's say you love kids and I hate them.  All of these scenarios speak to a basic compatibility.  You're not looking to slum it and neither am I, so let's just not waste each other's time.

That pretty much sums it up.  I would love to get a guy's perspective on the opposite side of the fence... if there are any men out there that would like to contribute, holla at your girl!

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