Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Make it work?

Every once in a while a girl can get caught up in a guy's potential or our expectations of what he will be like and overlook a few red flags along the way... I got an email from what seemed to be a cute Marina boy. We exchanged some emails and a long phone call and seemed to have a good amount of conversational chemistry. We went on a first date to The Grove and, as often happens, it was clear that his online pictures were outdated and underweight. I know this happens on both sides, but I really don't understand where people think that deceptive advertising is going to get them... we're going to meet in person eventually, who are you trying to fool!? Anyway, the first date went fairly well until the same old tired Canadian jokes... sigh.

We went out on our second date and things started to get interesting. On our walk to the restaurant it was cold and I made a comment about getting hot or cold fairly easily. He thought it would be a good idea to reply with "What, are you going through menopause or something?" har har. Strike 2 buddy. The date went fairly well from there, despite the excessive un-ironic winking at me from across the table. After date 2, the blush was off the rose, but my friends encouraged me to give him another chance, and I was hoping to recapture the chemistry from the initial phone call.

He suggested that we hang out at his place and watch the Giants game for date #3. I showed up at his door and the first thing he said was "Oh, you got a haircut, it looks so cute..." and I started to smile, until he continued with "... you look like you could be a flapper, doing the Charleston!" Um... what?! It gets better. At one point we were standing in the kitchen and he pulled to hood of my hoodie up and said "You look really cute..." (smile) "...like Eminem!" (frown) Are you kidding me? STOP when you're ahead for fuck's sake! Later, when he tried to attack my face with his tongue, it suddenly got REALLY late.

Another unfortunate case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. Wishing there were drugs for that...

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Hot for teacher...

Once again, the only thing worse than a horrible first date, is when you don't uncover the crazy until date #2.  I agreed to meet The Teacher for coffee even after he was sweet enough to ask me if I "really look like" my pictures... let's be honest, we're all a little jaded about online dating and so I decided to cut him some slack.  Anyway, coffee went well, he was smart, cute, and we had a good time.  We decided to go dinner for our second date.

He insisted I pick the restaurant, and I obliged, Dona Tomas in Oakland with a fresh Mexican menu.  I sent him the link to the place, and he said that would be fine.  When we arrived they sat us at a table in the front window which apparently put us "on display" so he asked to change tables.  Once we were settled again, we took a look at the menu and he decided that this wasn't what he wanted after all.  Don't bother reading the email I sent you with the menu BEFORE we go, just make it super awkward bye leaving once we're already seated, it's cool.  We ended up at Burma Superstar after I veto'd a super-shady Chinese place down the block.  Things only got more interesting from there... Mr. Incredible spent the entire dinner looking around the restaurant instead of at me and then insisted we split the check.  He ended the lovely evening by walking me halfway to my car... at night... in Oakland.  Classy.

You'd think that would be the end of that, but alas, it never is.  A few days later, a sweet little txting exchange took place, wherein he informed me that he had been "testing" me by insisting we split the bill.  Sigh.  SMH.