Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!!  I hope that everyone has a blast tonight.  Stay safe don't forget to kiss a few frogs!

The Guido

The Guido was my second date from POF and things were looking promising.  We had IM'd and chatted on the phone a little.  He was a year older than me, a San Francisco native, was very physically active, and worked in the family business.  He had done some college but I can't remember if he'd graduated before having to help out in the business (importing food and wine from Italy, YUM!).  He suggested that we go out for dinner in North Beach and I was excited, who better to pick a restaurant in North Beach than an Italian?  He claimed to be 'a real man' and thus, was going to pick me up from my place and drive us to dinner.  MISTAKE #1:  Never let them know where you live on your first date!

He showed up on time but, again, was shorter than advertised (I'm starting to sense a theme here) and for some reason just looked older than he had said (29 but looked 35+, hmm...) and there was definitely a question as to whether he was as fit as he had let on.  We found parking in North Beach (finally) but had to walk aways to the restaurant.  We stop in front of a restaurant on Columbus and he asks the guy at the door is "so-and-so" in.  "So-and-so" is not in, he's at another restaurant so The Guido introduces himself to the door guy and says he wanted to stop by and check the place out.  He walks in and takes a quick look and thanks door guy and we keep walking.  What is going on here?  You make me walk forever in heels and then we're not even going to eat there?  Why are you wasting time on errands when we're on a date and I'm hungry?  He says that it was his friend's "new place" and he had wanted to check it out... Weird.

We FINALLY get to the restaurant we're ACTUALLY going to eat at and it's a lot of [insert guido inflection] "Heyyy!" "Heyyy!" shaking hands with everyone in the place.  OK, I get it, you know people here, can we just eat already??  After going through the rigamarole of choosing our table (because he's the big man that needs to act like he owns the place) he starts ordering for me.  Now, this typically would seem like a romantic gesture but we JUST met, you have no idea what I like or if I'm allergic to anything.  I had to correct him a few times on things that I wouldn't eat, and of course he's gotta be fancy and order things that aren't on the menu, but finally we got our order in.

Then came the fun part...  Our conversation consisted of us re-living his high school football glory days and how he "shoulda gone pro" but his coach had it in for him and didn't give him enough playing time.  Really?  You're barely 6 feet tall and I'm pretty sure I could outrun you, who are we kidding?  Throughout this stimulating conversation it seemed like every single busboy, line cook, sous chef, waiter, etc. had stopped by our table to "say hello" (read: size me up).  We finally get the check and are able to leave.  He dropped me off saying that he'd call me again soon and I politely thank him for dinner.

He called me a few times and I'm hoping that just ignoring the calls will send the right message.  It doesn't, he keeps calling.  I decided to send him an email through POF saying that I didn't think we were a great match but that I wish him luck in his search.  He is not to be dissuaded.  I get an email back asking why oh why do I think we aren't a good match.  I try to say something generic and that it didn't really matter but that I wish him luck in the future.  "Please just tell me what I did so I don't do it again" he says, "It won't hurt my feelings" he says...  So I give in and tell him that I don't appreciate being paraded around North Beach while he acts like the big man and sitting through stories about his high school football glory days.  MISTAKE #2: Never tell them the brutal truth about why you don't want to see them again.

This incited a nasty email about how I don't know anything because I'm not Italian (Hello!?  I recently dated an Italian for 5 years, I think I'm pretty familiar with how they are... and AREN'T).  Being an Aries woman though, I couldn't just let it go.  I responded back heatedly and then blocked his ass!  That'll show him, right?  Wrong.  He emails to my personal email saying that "it's funny" that I tried to block him on POF because he has my personal email and because "I know where you live".  Um, scary!  I decided to take the high road at that point and once I stopped trying to get the last word in, he stops harassing me.

Lessons learned... never let him pick you up at your place on the first date, don't tell him what you REALLY think if you decide not to go for a second date, and maybe it's a good idea just to go for coffee on the first date!

Date #1: The Klingon

The gentleman from my first POF date has recently resurfaced, creating such incredible symmetry that it was the final straw that prompted me to finally start writing this blog.  While, not the worst date or even in the top 5 really, since he was the first, I'll start from the beginning...

The Klingon and I were matched on POF and he contacted me the same day I uploaded my profile.  He was a medical device sales rep and seemed sweet and intelligent.  We made plans to meet for a drink for our first date the very next day!  Initially this appeared to be necessary because of other scheduling conflicts but trust me girls, raise a yellow flag if he's too available.

We met up for a drink at a bar near my house and while he didn't appear to be quite as tall as his profile had said, he was better looking and thinner, so I chalked it up to a 'win'.  While having a little of that first-date awkwardness, the conversation seemed to go well and we were enjoying each other's company.  We had a small kiss goodnight and planned on seeing each other again soon.

We planned to meet up again that Saturday (1st date was Tuesday) for a picnic.  I asked what I could bring, he said he had it all taken care of and that he would come pick me up so we could ride the MUNI together out to GG park for the picnic (awww! or so I thought).  As we're riding the MUNI I notice that he's a very affectionate person... holding my hand, touching my leg, kissing me.  Now, we all have our acceptable levels of PDA.  I'll hold someone's hand and maybe kiss them once or twice, but the people on the MUNI do not need to see us all over each other, and especially not on DATE #2!

We finally get to the park and we start walking to find a place to setup camp.  Along the way we pass a couple in front of the Conservatory of Flowers lying down with each other, totally intertwined and making out.  I made it a point to comment on the inappropriate amount of PDA as we kept walking.  We find our spot and start the picnic.  The guy had done pretty well... bread, cheese, salami, strawberries, cake for dessert, and of course some adult beverages.  It seemed to be going fine until the alcohol started to kick in and The Klingon reared his ugly head...  I found myself having to repeatedly extricate myself from this boy's grasp while dodging attempted make-out sessions AND try and look natural!  Clearly he was not listening when had I voiced my disgust of the couple earlier... that or he's a cheap drunk.

Afterward, we ended up meeting up with his roommate and the roommate's girlfriend (why did I continue the date, you may be wondering... I'm not sure but I guess we all have a learning curve when it comes to weeding out the weirdos).  So we end up at the Connecticut Yankee in Potrero Hill and while his roommate turns out to be a very fun, interesting, funny guy (albeit unattractive), the Klingon continues with the attempted PDA (SUPER awkward now that we've dropped roommate's GF off and it's just the three of us!) and begins to stoop to the level of fishing for compliments from me.  I clearly didn't respond correctly because he starts saying things more blatantly like "Oh, I can tell you don't like me that much", forcing me to say something positive about him.  At one point, the roommate even had to tell him to cool it!

Needless to say, I ended the date after the disaster that was the Connecticut Yankee.  *sigh*  It just goes to show you that not everyone lets their crazy out on the first date, so keep your guard up ladies!  Unfortunately, this special Stage-5 clinger didn't know when to stop, and continued to call/email/IM for a week or two asking for another chance (which he was denied, of course).  In an interesting turn of events, I received an IM from him just this week wishing me a 'happy holidays'... believe me, 8 months is NOT long enough to forget the awkwardness, Mr. Klingon... when a girl says no, LISTEN!

Introduction: Part II

Once upon a time, a long long time ago...

Back in May of this year, I was settling into my new job and getting to know the ropes and my co-workers.  The desk they had given me just happened to be right next to the other single girl in the office.  After bonding over our shared frustration with dating in the Bay Area, she shared with me that she was using a free dating website to find her dates.  Having used 3 or 4 years prior, I was semi-familiar with online dating but not convinced of it's efficacy in finding Mr. Right.  She seemed to be getting a lot of communication and encouraged me to join the website with her.  On one of my days off I finally bit the bullet and started making my profile.

Let's go fishing!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Introduction: Part I

Hello fellow singles!  After repeated prompting from friends, relatives, acquaintances, and patients, I'm starting my first blog.  Like many other single girls in San Francisco, I have been through the ringer on horrible, ridiculous, and comical first (and last) dates.  This blog will be a collection of those stories.  Feel free to send me your stories so we can laugh (read: commiserate) together!  Hopefully when all is said and done, one of these many frogs will turn out to be my prince...

Yours truly,
The Dating Princess