The Guido

The Guido was my second date from POF and things were looking promising.  We had IM'd and chatted on the phone a little.  He was a year older than me, a San Francisco native, was very physically active, and worked in the family business.  He had done some college but I can't remember if he'd graduated before having to help out in the business (importing food and wine from Italy, YUM!).  He suggested that we go out for dinner in North Beach and I was excited, who better to pick a restaurant in North Beach than an Italian?  He claimed to be 'a real man' and thus, was going to pick me up from my place and drive us to dinner.  MISTAKE #1:  Never let them know where you live on your first date!

He showed up on time but, again, was shorter than advertised (I'm starting to sense a theme here) and for some reason just looked older than he had said (29 but looked 35+, hmm...) and there was definitely a question as to whether he was as fit as he had let on.  We found parking in North Beach (finally) but had to walk aways to the restaurant.  We stop in front of a restaurant on Columbus and he asks the guy at the door is "so-and-so" in.  "So-and-so" is not in, he's at another restaurant so The Guido introduces himself to the door guy and says he wanted to stop by and check the place out.  He walks in and takes a quick look and thanks door guy and we keep walking.  What is going on here?  You make me walk forever in heels and then we're not even going to eat there?  Why are you wasting time on errands when we're on a date and I'm hungry?  He says that it was his friend's "new place" and he had wanted to check it out... Weird.

We FINALLY get to the restaurant we're ACTUALLY going to eat at and it's a lot of [insert guido inflection] "Heyyy!" "Heyyy!" shaking hands with everyone in the place.  OK, I get it, you know people here, can we just eat already??  After going through the rigamarole of choosing our table (because he's the big man that needs to act like he owns the place) he starts ordering for me.  Now, this typically would seem like a romantic gesture but we JUST met, you have no idea what I like or if I'm allergic to anything.  I had to correct him a few times on things that I wouldn't eat, and of course he's gotta be fancy and order things that aren't on the menu, but finally we got our order in.

Then came the fun part...  Our conversation consisted of us re-living his high school football glory days and how he "shoulda gone pro" but his coach had it in for him and didn't give him enough playing time.  Really?  You're barely 6 feet tall and I'm pretty sure I could outrun you, who are we kidding?  Throughout this stimulating conversation it seemed like every single busboy, line cook, sous chef, waiter, etc. had stopped by our table to "say hello" (read: size me up).  We finally get the check and are able to leave.  He dropped me off saying that he'd call me again soon and I politely thank him for dinner.

He called me a few times and I'm hoping that just ignoring the calls will send the right message.  It doesn't, he keeps calling.  I decided to send him an email through POF saying that I didn't think we were a great match but that I wish him luck in his search.  He is not to be dissuaded.  I get an email back asking why oh why do I think we aren't a good match.  I try to say something generic and that it didn't really matter but that I wish him luck in the future.  "Please just tell me what I did so I don't do it again" he says, "It won't hurt my feelings" he says...  So I give in and tell him that I don't appreciate being paraded around North Beach while he acts like the big man and sitting through stories about his high school football glory days.  MISTAKE #2: Never tell them the brutal truth about why you don't want to see them again.

This incited a nasty email about how I don't know anything because I'm not Italian (Hello!?  I recently dated an Italian for 5 years, I think I'm pretty familiar with how they are... and AREN'T).  Being an Aries woman though, I couldn't just let it go.  I responded back heatedly and then blocked his ass!  That'll show him, right?  Wrong.  He emails to my personal email saying that "it's funny" that I tried to block him on POF because he has my personal email and because "I know where you live".  Um, scary!  I decided to take the high road at that point and once I stopped trying to get the last word in, he stops harassing me.

Lessons learned... never let him pick you up at your place on the first date, don't tell him what you REALLY think if you decide not to go for a second date, and maybe it's a good idea just to go for coffee on the first date!